Sometimes You Just Can't Win
by TheMortician'sDaughter
Summary: "I'd never realized how dependent upon Esme I was until a few years after her death. I was completely dependent upon her – that dumb old saying, 'I can't live without you' really does have some meaning to it."
1. Chapter One

Sometimes You Just Can't Win.

The only thing I remember of the previous days and weeks is torture. Nothing more. Every second of every minute of every day, I was either being burned mentally by Jane, knocked out by Alec, tracked by Demetri and beaten up by Felix afterwards, and countless other methods the Volturi here used to try and get me to help hurt my family.

Yes, my family. The most important, dearest thing to my heart.

And they'd soon all be dead.

Well, hopefully not. I'd rather the Volturi just kill me than lay one papery finger on any of member of my beloved family. Particularly Carlisle.

I don't see why they would try to hurt Carlisle, considering Aro is quite fond of him. But, obviously, they do want to hurt him. The easiest and most effective way being hurting me first.

I looked up at the large metal door as it opened with a loud screech, sneaking a glance at the face behind it. Jane.

"Come on," she ordered, voice cold and harsh. Knowing what she would do if I didn't listen, I obeyed. Jane eyed my appearance; the torn clothes, matted hair, the eyes the color of a starless midnight. This is what I've become.

I followed Jane down the boring, gray corridor, to a now very familiar room; the throne room. Home to the three Volturi brothers – Aro, Marcus, and Caius. Aro looked up as Jane and I entered the room, and he smiled. Cockily, as usual.

"Ah, good work, Jane dear. Grazie," he thanked her. Aro then turned to me. "Young Esme, I assume you have figured out by now why I've called you down here?" he asked. I shook my head.

"No, sir," I replied, solemnly. Aro has specifically requested that I only address him by either 'sir' or 'master'. I had no intention of ever calling anyone 'master', so I settled for sir. Since he had, well, let's say he had a little tantrum when I called him by his first name. Aro stifled a sigh.

"I'm shocked. Usually you and Carlisle share the ability to make sense of things easily. Unless I was mistaken." His milky red gaze settled on mine, and I quickly looked away.

"You see, Esme, we need you to cooperate with us here. Whether or not you want to help us with this, it's not your choice. It's ours. So, you can stop trying to rebel against us; it does nothing," he explained. I said nothing, remaining still and silent. I hadn't even been listening during all he just said, I had been thinking. Thinking about what it had been like all these weeks, months, I hadn't even kept track of how long they'd kept me here. One of the worst things about being cooped up in this castle was the pain it inflicted upon my heart; being brutally torn away from my family and beloved husband in the midst of a battle.

_I wasn't even focused on the oncoming attack from a Volturi guard I could hear racing towards me. I was only watching two people in particular._

_Carlisle had Aro in some sort of headlock, almost, and I watched as Aro tore free of my husband's grasp. He snarled, a low and feral sound. A loud _boom_ echoed through the clearing as the two collided, the impact throwing Carlisle back into a tree. I watched as Aro bolted towards him again, his hand locking around Carlisle's neck. I hadn't even noticed until now that another guard had appeared behind me. I was too intent on the fight to the death between Aro and my beloved. All I heard was a crack from somewhere in their direction, before I was being dragged back through the trees by the guard, my arms locked behind me. The last sight I saw was the dark pine trees surrounding me before everything fell into darkness._

Damn Alec. I could've at least seen what was happening to Carlisle before he used his power on me.

I just couldn't win, could I?


	2. Chapter Two

**Well, I decided to continue. =P Its not very often I start something and decide not to finish it… But, I will update more often, I promise. I have a break from school coming up this week, so I'll have more time to devote to my fanfictions and such during that time.**

**As for now, I hope you like my fanfiction!! As usual, please review!!**

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I finally looked back up at Aro, snapping out of my mini-flashback there. He looked as if he had been waiting hours for my response, and had eventually gotten tired of waiting, much like Marcus and his ever-remaining expression always looked. My gaze swept across the room, resting on everyone in the rather large throne area.

"I'm not going to help you. Do what you want to me," I said, breaking the silence. Aro watched me for a moment, before breaking into a fit of carefree laughter.

"Ha! You think we didn't already know that?" he asked, before looking over at Jane. "Jane, dear?"

Jane grinned evilly, before setting her gaze on mine. I waited for a second for her to start with the horrible ability she possessed, bracing myself for the oncoming pain. She smiled once more before I felt the shots of burning, searing pain throughout my head and that also made their way through the rest of my body. I squeezed by eyes shut, hoping some way that it would help to stifle the red-hot sensation that was running through every part of my already extremely weak body. Jane amped up the force of her power of her ability, causing my jaw to fall open in a silent cry of pain. I sank to my knees in the middle of the cold, marble floor, not caring about how vulnerable it probably made me look. After what seemed like hours, Aro's voice pulled me out of my painful, trance-like state.

"Jane, that's enough for now." At that, all the pain suddenly drifted away, and I slowly opened my eyes. My un-needed breaths came in short huffs as I slowly lifted my gaze to look at the most powerful Volturi brother.

"Changed your mind?" Aro inquired coolly, locking his milky red eyes on my coal black ones. I hesitated for a few moments, the words I had planned to say on the tip of my tongue. What would be the point of objecting to him? All it would lead to would be more torture from Jane, and I knew Aro would keep pestering me about this, anyways. It would make more sense to simply accept to go with them to Forks, the sooner I did, the sooner I would get to see Carlisle. Even if they decided to murder me there, I would still have a better last memory of my beloved husband than him and Aro nearly killing each other.

"So? Have you?" Aro asked, interrupting my thoughts. I lifted my gaze to him, opening my mouth to reply, although nothing came out at first. _C'mon, Esme. Just say it,_ I thought to myself. I finally managed to let the words escape my mouth, although they weren't what I expected them to be.

"Yes, Master."


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter three…. I know the previous chapters haven't been too much, but a lot of times with my writing, the first couple of chapters usually aren't to long, since it takes a little bit to really get the plot line going. I'm sorry about that – I'll try to be better with it from now on. =P **

**But, yeah. Here's chapter threeee…. **

**Oh, and for the record, NO, I do NOT own Twilight or any of the characters from it. Although, there are many made-up characters in a lot of my fanfics, including this one. =D **

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A wide grin slowly spread across Aro's face as he listened to my response.

"Good, good!" he exclaimed happily. "I didn't expect you to agree so easily."

"Neither did I," I muttered to myself, keeping my eyes on the floor. Aro clasped his hands together, his gaze sweeping the room. It stopped to rest on his two brothers, Marcus, looking bored as usual, and Caius, his almost sinister expression remaining unchanged on his papery face.

"Shall we?" Aro inquired of the two, his mouth still twisted in a malicious smile. Marcus simply shrugged, rolling his eyes.

"I suppose we may as well get it over with," he mumbled, resting his hand in his hand, with his elbow on the armrest of his throne. Caius nodded once in agreement, his expression almost mirroring his brother's. Aro wheeled around on his heel to face the rest of the vampires occupying the room.

"It's settled then," he announced. "We leave for Forks tomorrow."

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_**Carlisle Cullen**_

I stood in the far corner of the main room of my home, barely listening to the conversation between Alice and Edward that was going on only a few yards away. I knew that I should be listening to their plans and ideas, but I couldn't bring myself to even want to.

Although they hadn't spoken her name, my heart still sunk every time the two or anyone else mentioned the Volturi, knowing that the group of rather sinister, royal vampires had captured and planned on killing my beloved wife.

Of all the years I lived with Aro, Marcus and Caius, of all the deaths and murders I had witnessed in my over three-hundred years, I would've never had the lone thought cross my mind that the royal coven would sink this low, to hurting _my_ family. Aro was quite fond of me, and I knew that. Him and his disciples, as I called them, had come after my family and I many times before, but they never intended to kill any of us; with the exception of Edward and Bella's daughter, Renesmee, of course.

But, that was different.

Aro as well as his coven knew perfectly well that none of the rest of us could possibly cause any danger to him or the human world. Especially Esme; with her kindheartedness, her love for humans, how could she possibly cause any danger?

"Carlisle," Edward said quietly, suddenly standing behind me in the corner. I flinched; I hadn't heard or sensed his approach. "They don't think that she could cause any danger. That's the point."

"I don't see how that's 'the point'," I muttered back, returning my gaze to the window I had fixed it on how ever many hours ago. Edward raised a bronze colored eyebrow.

"You don't?" he asked, clearly shocked. "Usually you see these things easier than we all do."

"Not all times," I replied. "But this, Edward, I _don't_ see." Edward let out a small _humph_, glancing away for a moment. He then looked up at me again a millisecond later.

"They wanted her, Carlisle, because they know she won't hurt anybody. Physically, at least. They know that by taking her, it'll hurt you more than one could probably think," Edward explained. "I bet that she knows that, too. The Volturi know it as well. But, the problem here is that she won't hurt them for hurting you; she's too soft-hearted to do that." I watched him.

"I know," I whispered. "But they should've taken me instead. Killing me off first would be much easier for them to make the coven more vulnerable; I'm surprised they didn't think of that." Edward nodded, considering my point.

"They don't want to just hurt you physically, Carlisle," he said slowly. "They know by having you watch the most important thing to you die, it'll make your mind more vulnerable. You'll lose confidence. They're smarter than you think, you know." Edward's eyes instantly filled with sympathy before he turned on his heel and walked away. I watched him leave for a short minute, before turning back to the window.

I'd been internally beating myself up for not stopping them from taking Esme in the first place; and this just added to it.

I'd already be a complete and total mess before that coven even set foot in the country.


	4. Chapter Four

**Here we go. Chapter four. I know it's been a couple days since I've updated, but, y'know, I've been kinda busy with the holidays and such… Sorry 'bout that. **

**But, here goes!! =P**

_**Carlisle Cullen**_

Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper and I had gone out hunting, although I wasn't really enjoying myself like I usually did on hunting trips. The only reason I was even out here was because Alice had nearly dragged me, insisting that I needed to hunt to keep my mind off of Esme. Frankly, nothing could keep my mind off of her; not even if the apocalypse were to take place right in my front yard. I'd only taken down only one deer, not caring for much more. I silently escaped the rest of the hunting group, wandering back in the direction of the house, when an oh-so-familiar scent hit me.

The Volturi. And I knew exactly why they were here.

I whipped around, stopping in my tracks. I sniffed the air once more, drifting south in the direction of the scent. _Edward, tell the rest to get over here. They've come,_ I thought, knowing Edward was still close enough to be able to hear my thoughts. After I sent the thought to my 'son', I bolted towards the scent of the Volturi, already knowing exactly what they had in store for me today.

*****

The rest of the family had quickly filed into the clearing as soon as Edward delivered the message. I stood at the far right of them, instead of my usual place in the front middle. The side of my face was enveloped in shadows as the trees from the forest loomed over me. I felt my whole body tense as I watched the familiar group of black cloaks glide into the rather large clearing, with the three brothers in front. My gaze followed Aro as he drifted closer to my family, and I clenched my jaw. He finally stopped about ten yards away from my coven, and he gestured for his to stop as well. The most powerful Volturi brother clasped his hands together, looking around at all of us.

"Ah, what a pleasant gathering we have put together, isn't it?" My response to Aro's greeting was a growl that rumbled lowly in my chest, and I stepped forward out of the shadows.

"I'd like to disagree, Aro." My voice was a dry monotone as I spoke the words, my darkened gaze pouring into the vampire. He slowly turned his milky red eyes to look at me.

"Carlisle, my friend," he said slowly. "How very nice to see you again." I made a small movement of my head, almost in between a nod and a shake.

"What do you need, Aro?" I asked quickly, hoping he would get on with whatever torture he had planned and cut to the chase. Instead, a grin spread across his face.

"No need to be so hasty, Carlisle! We actually have a request for you." Aro blinked, still smiling. I could easily see past his phony smiles and words, Aro was like an open book, left out to read. I'd lived with him long enough to be able to figure that out quite easily.

"And this request is?" I sighed, my simple gaze turning into a glare. Knowing Aro, he wouldn't make this easy. He took a few steps forward.

"Well, I assume you know why we have come, yes?" he asked. I nodded once, a sharp motion. "Good. Well, Carlisle, I think your coven has grown too big, too powerful. It would be for the best that we eliminate you, but, I know you won't make that a simple task. So, we have a little bit of a crutch here." Aro motioned to one of his guard to come to where he stood. I remained solemn, until I caught sight of the person the guard, Felix, was holding.

_**Esme Cullen**_

I slowly lifted my gaze from the grass, to look at my family. It felt like a knife through my heart, being able to see them again like this. Of all things, I should've been happy. But, since I knew what was coming for me, happy was the last thing on my mind.

Especially when I saw Carlisle's face. He looked at me with such pain in his eyes, that it hurt me to even look at him. I couldn't bring myself to look away, though; I just wanted the moment to last forever, to never have to look away. Felix's grip tightened on my already weakened arms, grasping them so tight that it could've cut of circulation in a normal human. Aro took a few steps forward.

"You see, Carlisle, it's quite simple, actually. But, I have a feeling you're going to make it harder than it really is," he said. "You know our thoughts about your coven, obviously, but we need something to at least try and convince you." Aro pulled a dagger out of his pitch black cloak, flipping it around in his hand.

"More than quite simple. Very simple; one option or the other. You surrender your coven to us, or she," he gestured to me with the dagger, "dies."

I watched as Carlisle's already black eyes seemed to darken even more. A low growl erupted from his chest, echoing through the clearing. Aro smiled.

"Ah, I was correct. I knew you would make this difficult." He crossed his arms over his chest, making a _tsk_ noise. Carlisle continued growling.

"Did you really expect me to choose so easily?" he hissed. "Neither of those options are reasonable, Aro. Of course, you yourself are unreasonable; I must've forgotten." Aro twirled the dagger in his fingers, grabbing the top of my arm to yank me forward. I winced at the unnecessary force he applied; did he really need that much? I was already much, much weaker than anyone in the whole clearing, for Christ's' sake.

"Personally, I think both options are quite reasonable. They'll both end up in the same way; you just have to choose which one you can bear with more." Aro paused. "Not that you could fend with either very well, Carlisle, but you'll have to choose sooner or later." Carlisle's jaw clenched.

"I won't," he said, even just his eyes giving off the waves of anger I could sense emanating from his presence. Aro sighed again.

"Carlisle," he began. "It's not that hard of a choice."

"You don't understand, Aro. What if _you_ were in my place? If I were asking you to choose between watching your wife die or death for you and your whole coven? What would _you_ choose?" Carlisle shot back, his fists clenched. Aro let go of my arm and held up his free hand, palm forward.

"That's not the situation, is it?" he replied. "You shouldn't think of what things would be like the other way around, Carlisle. Think of the real situation, not what it could be like from someone else's perspective." Another low growl tore from Carlisle's chest, but he remained where he was, in his almost protective stance in front of our family. His family, actually; I no longer belonged to them.

"You wouldn't know what to choose. That's the point I'm trying to make," he replied slowly. "If you can't make the choice yourself, you shouldn't go and _dump it_ on someone else! Think about what you're doing, Aro! You're threatening to murder someone who's done nothing wrong. She's completely innocent; you have no reason to quarrel with Esme. Now, let her go." A small, evil smile spread across Aro's face.

"No." He grabbed my arm again, tugging me closer to his side. I kept my eyes on the dagger in his opposite hand as I waited anxiously for him to just see that Carlisle wouldn't choose and kill me. The minutes seemed to drag on like hours as silence crept into the clearing, weighing down on everyone who occupied it. My gaze wandered across the clearing to rest on my husband, who was staring back at me with enough heartbreak in his eyes that I wondered how he managed to hide it from the rest. Aro _humphed_, breaking the silence.

"Hmm," he said. "I see you've made no choice. That leaves me only one option."


	5. Chapter Five

**Well, here's chapter five! What's really kind of special about this chapter is that I'm using it for an ELA project I'm doing. It was to write a brief story using all ten of the vocab words, sooo…. The teacher said I could do something like this. So, why not? Heheh.**

**But, anyways. Here it is, for y'all to read. I hope you like it, and as always, please review!!**

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_**Carlisle Cullen**_

I stared at Aro, my face a mask of complete anger, although inside my emotions ran wild with mostly dismal thoughts. Even Jasper seemed to be in enough shock to not even think to use his ability to try and decrease my melancholy emotions.

No. There was no way I would ever let Aro do what he planned; I knew exactly what he had in mind even without Edward's or Alice's abilities.

He planned to kill her. In all the three-hundred and sixty-five years of my incessant vampire life, I would have never had the lone thought cross my mind that Aro would sink to the level of killing someone to hurt me; especially Esme.

Aro had never been morose, quite a strange idea for someone living in a castle with the almost opaque windows and his other dismal brothers as he did. Although, I had lived with him, I knew his feeling towards it. His avarice for power almost completely overrode the melancholy ambiance of the Volturi palace.

"Carlisle, my friend," Aro said quietly, breaking the silence.

"What? You have no need to explain what you are about to do, Aro. I already know." My tone was unexpectedly caustic. A glimmer of interests flickered in my former companion's eyes for a second, but was instantly replaced by an evil glare, leaving no vestige. I removed my gaze from Aro's milky red eyes, letting my eyes fall on Esme's battered and almost sordid form standing – well, more like being held – by Aro, with Felix and Demetri flanking him. My eyes met hers for only the briefest of moments, but I was able to see and understand the pain and suffering she had endured during the time she had been held captive by the Volturi. A faint apparition seemed to appear next to her, a ghost of her former self. My slightly wary eyes flickered between my wife and the ghost, taking note of the differences.

The "ghost's" eyes were a light honey gold, her hair the color of caramel brown like it was always. Her skin also had a slightly darker tint to it, more color.

The real Esme was completely and utterly different; the only distinction that it was in fact her apparition standing next to her was the shape of her face and the fact that I would know her anywhere. The real Esme's eyes were the color of a starless midnight, and her skin seemed unbelievably paler than the usual vampire pallor, unless I was seeing things. (Well, I was seeing a ghost, wasn't I? Ah, well. Maybe I'm just delusional.) Even her hair looked as if it were a more dull color of caramel brown. I was extremely thankful that vampires couldn't lose weight; only God knows what she would've looked like if they could.

Marcus's voice pulled me out of my trance-like state, and the translucent ghostly form disappeared.

"Aro, what is it that's taking you so long?" Hi voice was dull and bored as usual. "You seemed ready to use that weapon since the hour you received it." My eyes instantly snapped from my mangled wife to the dagger Aro still held in his hand. I'd seen that rather small weapon before. Although I'd never seen it in action, I knew exactly what it was capable of as soon as my eyes caught sight of it.

I don't recall the dagger having a specific name, but I did know that it was one of the only weapons in existence that was able to kill vampires, and left no vestige that they had ever been alive. I also knew exactly what Aro planned to do with that dagger.

I stood paralyzed to my spot, unable to move or stop the Volturi leader from using that weapon on my beloved wife. I was obviously aware that the Volturi intended to murder her, but I didn't think they would actually bring themselves to do it; let alone use the Dagger. It not only just killed the vampire; it made them endure a long, drawn out and painful death. I'd always imagined it being similar to the transformation into a vampire, since the poison spreads throughout the body with a burning desire to kill.

I should have known. With Aro and his sordid ways, I should have expected it. Caius tapped his foot impatiently on the ground.

"Aro, brother, do you intend to end this sooner, or later? I may as well just kill her myself," he sighed, exasperated.

"Of course. I was only waiting for Carlisle to say something, but he obviously isn't going to anytime soon." At that, Aro pulled Esme from the tight grip Felix and Demetri had on her when he'd released her to them. He now held her in his own secure grasp, twirling the dagger in his hand once more.

"This is your last chance, Carlisle," he warned. "I wouldn't want you to be too dismal for the rest of eternity." A low snarl escaped my throat.

"Oh, really? Apparently you do," I retorted. "Would you be doing this if you didn't?" Aro simply shrugged, holding the tip of the exceedingly sharp dagger to the base of Esme's throat. I heard as a soft whimper escaped her mouth, and her eyes settled on mine.

"Please," she whispered, quiet enough that only a vampire would be able to hear. Aro kicked her in the shin, and she immediately shut her mouth.

"No talking," he scolded, applying only the slightest bit more pressure to the blade. A feral growl rumbled in my chest, a rare happening for me.

"Aro," I snarled. "Don't you dare." A smile slowly spread across his face, twisting his expression into a mask of satisfaction of my response to his actions.

"You could easily save her from this fate, Carlisle," he stated. "But, I see that you chose not to."

It was at that point that my fury lashed out, and I lunged at the vampire standing only a few yards away from me.


	6. Chapter Six

**Woo, chapter six. I'm seriously on a roll with this fanfic, huh? Lol. **

**I decided to have a little bit of a change in this chapter, thanks to advice from my friend. XD Instead of just Esme & Carlisle's point of view… ALICE! Heheh. I needed a change, sooo… yeah. Here goes!**

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_**Alice Cullen**_

I peeked out from my place behind Jasper, watching as Carlisle lunged at Aro. I heard the air quickly pull into my mouth as I gasped when Aro sent Felix and Demetri after him. Both guards had a secure hold on my fatherly figure, and I watched as Aro beckoned Jane forward.

"Jane, dear," he said. "I think now would be a good time to calm him down a bit, don't you think?" I blinked in astonishment. _Calm him down_, I thought. I knew exactly what he meant by that, the morbid little jerk.

"Jasper, do something!" I hissed, shaking my husband's shoulder slightly. He shot a quick glance at me.

"What do you want me to do?" he responded in a whisper.

"Calm him down!" I looked back over at Carlisle, who was obviously in the process of being tortured by Jane. Felix and Demetri still had their tight old on him, but his body shook violently with the severity of Jane's ability.

I was surprised he wasn't screaming.

I turned away, not wanting to watch them torture Carlisle anymore. It just seemed so wrong to do that to him; Carlisle was always so compassionate, kindhearted; _good_. I didn't understand how someone could bring themselves to hurt him. What really got me was that I couldn't do anything to help him, really. _Little Alice can never be a fighter._ I repeated James's words in my head that he had said to me so many years ago. I hated how he was oh so right.

I looked around Jasper's form still in front of me again, to look at Carlisle again. Before I could let my eyes rest on my father, the scene changed. I knew that my eyes had that blank look to them and at least one of the family was probably saying the familiar line, "Alice, what do you see?"

The scene in my vision was so utterly morbid that I wished for an opaque wall to crash down in front of it.

_I watched, standing there like a helpless being as the Volturi leader murdered my motherly-figure; the woman who had guided us all through thick and thin, never leaving us to fend for ourselves. The blade of the dagger sunk deeper into her throat, cutting off the scream of either pain or terror that never had a chance to escape her mouth. I stood frozen to my spot across the gruesome murder scene before me._

_Aro pulled the blade from Esme's throat, throwing her broken body to the ground. An evil smile spread across his face as he held up the murderous blade, blood trickling down the silver that almost seemed to sparkle. _

I blinked, and the vision disappeared.

This wasn't going to end well.

_**Esme Cullen**_

I knew as soon as Aro let go of me that Felix and Demetri would grab me by the arms in another secure grasp. But they didn't. Both of the guards as well as the others were too engrossed in the battle that had broken out to pay attention to me; the battered, buffeted prisoner.

No one can ever know the real meaning of 'all hell broke loose' until they've seen this.

The force of Aro shoving me back to dodge Carlisle's attack had knocked me to my knees, and I staggered backwards on the ground. My gaze traveled around the clearing at all the mini fights going on; Jane versus Bella, Jasper versus Felix, Emmett versus Demetri, and I had no idea where Alice and Rosalie were in all of this. Carlisle was obviously fighting Aro, almost the same terrifying scene from the day I was captured.

I suddenly wondered where Edward had run off to; I hadn't caught sight of him during the midst of everything else going on at the moment. I had started to frantically search for my 'son' when I realized that he was next to me, kneeling on the ground as I was. His hand rested lightly on my shoulder, and I blinked at him. Edward had never been the 'touchy' type, except with Bella, of course.

"C'mon. We've gotta get you out of here," he said urgently, his voice low. I looked up at him, my thoughts instantly changing.

"No," I snarled. Edward gaped.

"What do you mean, no?" he asked. "Apparently you've been locked up too long. You have to come."

"No, that's not it," I replied, my eyes scanning him up and down. _He can't be that hard to kill,_ I thought, forgetting for a moment that he had the ability to read my thoughts. Edward was suddenly alarmed, and his hand tightened on my shoulder.

"No, Esme. You can't kill me; I'm not food." His eyes were almost as concerned as his voice. I growled at him, my charcoal black eyes hungry.

"Why is this?" I inquired. "I'm obliged to kill who I want." Another growl tore from my throat, and I was about to go in for the kill when he caught me by the shoulders.

"Esme, no," he scolded. "Don't." I continued growling, the sound never ceasing in the slightest.

"What's gotten to you?" Edward asked, gripping my shoulders tighter to restrain me from hurting him like I now wanted to.

"Nothing has, _Edward_." I sneered his name. "People change. That's how it works." His face fell.

"Not you. _You_ don't change like that," he disagreed. "What happened to your love, Esme? What about Carlisle? Do you want to kill him, too?" I stopped growling as his words sunk in. I would never try to hurt my husband; never. I also wouldn't ever hurt my family, so why I was threatening to kill my own son, I don't know.

"Don't do this, Esme. You're smarter than this," Edward murmured. I bit my lip, feeling like such an evil, sordid person for trying to hurt him. I opened my mouth to apologize, but was interrupted by someone yanking me back from him, and holding the Dagger to my throat once more.

Aro.

_**Carlisle Cullen**_

Aro finally managed to throw me off of him, just as I was probably about to win our little battle there. I stood up, my clothes torn and hair ruffled, to look at him once again, holding Esme like he had before.

"Let her go," I hissed between pants of sheer exhaustion. I'd forgotten how much fighting could take out of you. Aro simply smiled.

"And you think you can make me let her go, just like that?" He laughed. "I don't think so, my friend."

"I'm not your friend," I retorted, coldly. "I may have used to be, but not anymore. Not after this."

"Carlisle, this is no reason to despise someone," Aro returned. A low growl erupted from my chest.

"Oh, really? It's not?" I said, sarcastically. "So you're just going to try and kill my wife, and I have no reason to hate you for it? Ah, yes, that seems about right, doesn't it? Maybe I'll just go back to that damn, sordid castle of yours, hmm? We could be friends, just like the old days, wouldn't we?" I was surprised at myself; I was almost never sarcastic like this.

"I would never! You may think its right to go around killing of people and vampires for a living, Aro, but its not. You have no reason to hurt my wife." I was nearly seething at the end of my words, my body trembling. Aro blinked.

"A little caustic, are we?" he commented. "You usually aren't like this, Carlisle."

"Gee, I wonder –," I started to say, before he cut me off.

"But none of that stops me from doing what I've always intended. I've already told you this, Carlisle, but you could've saved her from this. If only you had thought to, oh, come after her, maybe?" He shrugged in mock confusion. "But you never did. Honestly, I was quite shocked that you didn't. It wouldn't shown how much you really love her," he finished.

"I. Do. Love. Her," I said through clenched teeth. "Apparently you can't respect that."

"Oh, I can. I just choose not to, and this is something that needs to be done. I'm sorry," Aro replied.

"No you're not," I retorted. "You're never sorry, Aro. You may say it all the time, but you never sincerely mean it." He shrugged again.

"All right, enough chit-chat. This is getting us nowhere," he said. "But this will." I watched as he pulled the blade back from Esme's throat, angling it for the perfect death blow. I was rooted to the ground, unable to move forward to stop him from plunging the blade far into the granite skin of my wife's throat as he did a second later. A quiet, odd sounding noise escaped my mouth, but I recognized it as an agonized cry of pain. Esme's body crumpled in his arms; she was panting heavily from the poison I knew she could feel spreading throughout her body, but her already quite shallow huffs were fading quickly. Aro threw her broken body to the ground, pulling the dagger from her throat, revealing the blade, spattered and dripping with blood.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Ah, I've finally overcome my fear of writing from Edward's point of view! LOL! I figured I'd try it out in study hall today, so, I did. And, well, it actually worked! One down, and… none to go, I guess. I don't think I can bring myself to write from Bella's… But, anyways, enjoy!!**

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_**Carlisle Cullen**_

"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" Aro's voice came from beside me, but I had no intention of replying or even looking at him ever again. Although, there way no way that I could stop the feral growl from erupting from my chest and echoing throughout the clearing.

"Go die, Aro," I hissed. "Go rot in Hell and never come back. You deserve it." It was at that I bolted over to my wife, who lay on the ground only attached to life by a few feeble strings. I put my hand very gently on her shoulder, turning her over so she faced me. Her body slowly became paler and paler as the non-existent warmth drained from her broken form. I brushed the matted hair away from her face to reveal an expression so pained that I wondered how she managed to endure this without screaming or even writhing in pain from the poison I knew she could feel running through her system. I heard as a soft whimper escaped her mouth. My thoughts reverted back to the past as the sound replayed in my head; the exact same sound she had made after I had bitten her. Almost every part of the scene before me was the same as those eighty-seven years ago, with the exception of the fact it wasn't me who was hurting her.

"I'm so sorry, Esme," I whispered painfully. "I shouldn't have let this happen." I felt as my heart shattered into smaller, jagged, more painful pieces than it had already been. I tried to keep a straight face for whoever was watching, most likely the whole family.

"I love you," I murmured, ignoring any of the curious eyes watching and intent ears listening. Of all things right now, I really didn't need an audience. I leaned down to press a last, soft kiss to the op of Esme's head, letting myself inhale the last vestige of her sweet, fragrant scent. It was at that I stood up, and ran towards the forest. I had almost reached the thick lining if trees when an arm shot out in front of me.

"No." I looked up at Edward's voice, not saying anything and turning to walk around his arm. _Let me go,_ I thought when his arm moved to place itself in front of me again.

"No, Carlisle. I can't let you go," he replied, sternly.

_Yes, you can, _I answered in my thoughts. _What makes you think that you can't?_

"If I do, you probably won't come back." Edward took in a deep breath. "Remember when I left?"

_I let you go. As much as I didn't want to, I did. Two completely different things. You're not letting me go. _I stared at him, an unwavering, steady gaze. _Why can't you do the same for me? All it would be is respect for your father. Well, father-figure, but you get my point. _Edward took in another deep breath, letting his arm fall back to rest at his side.

"Fine," he sighed. "But… Will you come back?" he inquired. I thought for a moment. If I did eventually come back, it would probably be a long time from now; and I'd probably on some murder mission to kill Aro for hurting my wife. I wasn't sure of exactly what to say, so I settled for just telling him the truth.

"Maybe," I finally said, out loud for the first time in the conversation. "maybe I'll come back." I didn't wait for Edward's response before I bolted into the forest, unsure of where I would end up.

Like I even cared.

_**Edward Cullen**_

I watched Carlisle leave, immediately regretting the decision to let him go as soon as his form vanished from sight.

I knew this was hard for him, but I should have at least stopped him. It was quite likely that family could help him more than solitude. I removed my gaze from his trail, and let it wander over to rest on my mother's figure, noticing how a small puddle of blood formed beside her, some still trickling to enlarge it from the wound at the base of her throat. I completely ignored Aro as I walked over to her, kneeling next to her lifeless body.

I remembered back to when I first met her when Carlisle'd brought her home, after she attempted suicide.

_I looked up from the book I was reading when I heard the door open. I shut the book, cascading it aside as I arose to go see what Carlisle was up to. I heard labored breaths coming from where ever he was, and I walked into the room. I tilted my head to the side, confused and shocked by the sight before me. Carlisle was bent over a woman who appeared to be in her early to mid-twenties, closing a wound on her neck, one caused by none other than his exceedingly sharp venom-coated teeth sinking into her fragile skin. The woman had already begun to pant heavily from the burning sensation of the venom making its course through her mangled body, and I could hear Carlisle quietly apologizing to her, over and over again._

"_Carlisle," I said quietly. "What's this?" He looked up at me. _

I had to save her, Edward,_ he thought. I crossed my arms over my chest._

"_Had to? How could you possibly _have to_ bite someone?" I asked. Carlisle's eyes unfocused for a second, then returned to reality. _

"_It's her, Edward," he murmured. "The one from all those years ago, the one I met, and… And never forgot." _

"_The one with the broken leg?" I said, slowly. "Are you sure?" Carlisle bit his lip and nodded._

"_Positive," he replied softly. I just shook my head and walked out of the room._

At first, I didn't really like her. Surprising, I know, there weren't many people who could bring themselves to dislike Esme. I don't even know how I did, really. Most of it was because I didn't think Carlisle should've changed another human, doomed them to this fate. Although, when I watched their relationship grow, saw how happy she made him, I began to like Esme, love her, even. I began to think of her as a mother, love and caring as she was. Seeing her laying here, dead, like this, it pulled at my heart almost as much as it did Carlisle's. Well, probably not as much as his, but pretty close, I would say.

"Should we burn her?" I heard Alice ask. I stood up, and nodded slightly.

"Probably. There's really nothing else we can do," I replied. "And, you know hoe much it would hurt Carlisle to see her body still here when he comes back." _If_ he comes back.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Ah, the magnificent chapter eight. Well, I guess, lol. I know the idea of this chapter is a little… odd… but, enjoy!! And, as always, please review!**

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_**Carlisle Cullen**_

I finally came to a stopping point somewhere near the Quileute border. I could smell the strong scent radiating from the other side of the invisible treaty line, and for once in my over three-hundred years of incessant life, I hoped that one of the wolves would find me here, particularly one of the alphas. I stood at the very edge of the border line, my arms crossed tightly over my chest. I waited for a little while, not exactly sure how long. When no traces of any of the wolves crossed my path, I decided to just cross over the line and find them myself. Than God I had decided on this course of action; if the wolves were involved then Alice couldn't see my plans.

I stepped over the invisible treaty line, the marker of the truce between my family of vampires and the Quileute werewolves. I slowly started walking further into their territory, searching for any familiar scents I happened to recognize. There wasn't a specific person I was looking for, although it would help if it wasn't one who was rather fond of m family. For instance, Leah or almost any member of Sam Uley's pack. I suddenly stopped in my tracks, sensing another form nearly by. I wasn't very well accustomed to all the different werewolf scents, so it was usually hard to tell them apart by smell. I only knew Jacob's scent, considering he was almost always at the house to spend time with Renesmee.

"What's a vampire doing on werewolf land?" I heard the werewolf ask. It was a female's voice, obviously Leah's, since she was the only female werewolf in both of the packs. I stepped out of the shadows that enveloped me in darkness to face her.

"I know this is sudden, but… I need to ask a favor," I replied, letting my arms fall from the tightly crossed position they were in. Leah looked skeptical as she assessed my appearance.

"What kind of favor?" she asked. "If it involves that bloodsucking leech Edward, forget it. Same goes for that Rosalie of yours."

"It's not for the whole family, although it will probably end up doing them some good," I said, taking notice of her almost angry expression. "It's for… me." I bit my lip after I said that, waiting for whatever snippy response she would come back with. Instead of the reaction I had expected, she just nodded towards me and said, "Get on with it, then."

"I… I need you wolves to… kill me. You have a perfectly good reason to; I've already broken the treaty by crossing over onto your land without permission. If you need better motivation than that, I'll go bite some random human. Just… Please." I looked back up at Leah, surprised to see her expression unchanged.

"Can't you just go to those creepy, royal bloodsuckers? I can't think of the name… V-somethin'," Leah said. I blinked at her.

"You mean the Volturi? No, I can't, actually. For two reasons: one, Aro is much too fond of me to do that, it's obvious. Two, he's the one who put these suicidal thoughts into my head. He killed my wife. _That's_ why I want to die," I explained, clasping my hands behind my back as if I were embarrassed. Leah looked away, probably thinking of what to say.

"Well," she began, "I can't promise you anything. But, I suppose I can talk to Jacob about it. I just think it would really suck to have to kill you, Carlisle. You're such a good guy." She shook her head. "I… I just don't get it."

"Don't get what?" I asked quietly.

"How someone would want to die because someone else died. I mean, I understand that you'd be sad about it, but… Killing yourself over it just seems… reckless, almost." I let a small smile play at my mouth for a few seconds, before it abruptly disappeared.

"When the most important thing to you is suddenly gone like that, it's painful. Especially if you love them, like I do Esme. It's just… Extremely… Hard to cope with. It just seems like it'd be easier to die, to let go of all the suffering it puts your heart through. And, if you think this way, some people believe that if they die too, they'll meet up with the other person who died, where ever the afterlife is. As strange as this may sound, I do think that way." I looked away again, to a tree. Leah was still watching me, her expression almost sympathetic. Wait, a sympathetic _Leah?_ She was never soft towards other people; Leah was almost always cold, cunning, sharp. There wasn't many times when I'd seen her this way. Well, actually, this was the first time. As soon as I looked back up at her, the soft expression disappeared.

"Well, like I said, I'll talk to Jake. You just hang in there, 'kay? Go home. I bet your family's probably worried as hell." She flashed a smile for the briefest of moments, before returning to her solemn expression. "I really don't want to have to kill you. I'm sure the others won't either, so, if I were you, I wouldn't get my hopes up. But, hey. You'll find that eventually things'll get better. Don't worry." She smiled again and turned away. I heard her explode into wolf form a moment later, before I turned my back on her and walked away. Not towards my home, of course. Even if they made a decision to let me live, it would be a long time before I ever went back there.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Well, here goes. Chapter nine. I just want to give a shout out to one of my friends from school; she really helps me out with ideas for this story and such. THANKS SO MUCH!! XD But, anyways. I hope you like this, and as always, please review! It always makes me smile when I get good reviews for this, so thank you all who have been loyal to the story and review every time. Thanks!!**

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_**Carlisle Cullen**_

The bushes behind me rustled quietly, and the scent of another being hit me. I turned around in the tree I was perched in, to see who could've possibly found me here. As far as I knew, nobody else knew about this little grove in the forest, except for three people; those people being me, Esme, and Bella. The only reason Bella knew was because she had, well, let's say she happened to be taking a stroll through the forest when she happened to run into Esme and I while we were here. To put it in more understandable context, she walked in on our kissing.

I turned back to where I heard the bushes rustling, and a rather large, tan boy stepped through the dark foliage. I recognized him as Jacob, wondering what he could possibly be doing here, on vampire land. In this little area, nonetheless.

"Carlisle?" he called, obviously unaware that vampires had an excellent sense of hearing. I peeked through the trees, knowing that my bright blond hair was a dead give away to my location, as it always was.

"Yes? I said, when he didn't notice me. "I'm up here, Jacob." The werewolf finally looked up at me, and beckoned for me to come down. I didn't question why, jumping out of the tree and landing swiftly and silently on my feet.

"Weird. I never thought of you as much of a tree climber," Jacob commented after I landed in front of him.

"Frankly, I'm not much of one. I just thought it was a good technique for relaxation." I shrugged. "So, what's brought you here?" Jacob sighed, tightly crossing his arms over his chest.

"I talk to Leah," he began, taking in a deep breath before lifting his gaze to glare at me. "You want us to kill you?" I nodded, waiting for him to finish.

"What the hell are you thinking, Carlisle? We're not going to kill you! Do you realize what that would do to you family? You have six children and a _grandchild!_ You can't just leave all that behind because one little person died. Besides, it'll hurt Nessie. I don't want that to happen." I stood in silence for a minute, speechless.

"_One little person?_" I quoted. "Esme was _not_ 'little', Jacob. Maybe to you, but, not to me. She was my _life._ How dare you say she doesn't matter?" I seethed. Jacob heaved a sigh.

"I didn't say she didn't matter," he said. "I said that you shouldn't go and kill yourself over her. You can move on, it's not that hard." I was about to reply when Leah appeared behind him.

"He has a point, Carlisle. Just because it's difficult doesn't mean you should go and die over it." She shrugged. I ignored her, and looked at Jacob.

"I'm not that important, Jacob. I'm sure the rest could handle things themselves; they're mature enough," I replied, ignoring Leah's stare I could feel boring into me.

"You're more important than you think. You know where they'd all be without you? Dead, Carlisle. _Dead!_" Leah shot at me, taking a step forward. "And, I've seen how they supposedly 'handle things'. Not very well, if you ask me." She snorted and rolled her eyes. I stifled a sigh, looking down and rubbing my temples for a moment. Yes, I knew that not all of the rest handled things too well, for instance, Emmett. He always seemed to go to extremes, hence why I try not to let him do much but the fighting.

"But they're not dead. That's the point." I looked back up at the two wolves, their expressions unchanged. "You both that Edward and Alice are responsible enough. They've managed without me before; remember when Renesmee was born?" Jacob swallowed hard obviously remembering back to the gruesome scene. I'd been out at the time, getting blood for Bella, and they'd all done very well with getting Renesmee delivered and well. I looked back over at Jacob, my gaze almost a glare.

"Do you realize how many people you'll hurt my killing yourself, Carlisle? A lot. Your family loves and cares for you, you can't just take yourself away from them like that," Leah cut in. My gaze whisked from Jacob to her, and I blinked, giving up.

"Fine," I said slowly. "I get it. You guys won't kill me. Protecting your reputation, I assume?" My tone was amazingly calm for the current situation. Of course, I was known mostly for being the calmest of the Cullens, the most controlled during things like this, and or sometimes worse. Jacob's hands started to shake.

"We're not protecting anything but your family! I don't want them to get hurt. Can't you see that Esme's death is hard for them, too? You're not the only one who misses her," he hissed, his whole body starting to violently tremble.

"I'm sure you don't," I replied, stifling the growl I could feel about to erupt from my chest. "You barely knew her. She was my _wife!_ She meant more to me than she did to anyone else." I let the growl tear from my throat and echo throughout the clearing.

"Maybe so. But, that doesn't give you a reason to die," Leah said, putting a restraining hand on Jacob's shaking shoulder. My gaze flickered between the two of them, before I sighed heavily.

"Okay, then. I suppose I shouldn't bother the packs with my suicidal thoughts, should I?" I left them hanging on my rhetorical question as I turned around and ran deeper into the forest.

Of course I knew it would hurt the family if I did happen to die as well, but, I'm sure they could get over it. I did care for them; cared for them deeply. But, sometimes things had to be done… Right?

_**Jacob Black**_

I smacked Leah's hand off my shoulder, resisting the urge to run after Carlisle. Of course I knew that Esme being dead bothered him, but why would he come running to the packs? I mean, it's not like he couldn't go find some random rogue vampire in the woods; I'm sure some monster off the streets would kill him for _fun_. I huffed a sigh, turning around to go home. I beckoned for Leah to follow, and she did. I didn't both to tie my cut-off shorts around my ankle with the leather cord I had tied there before I exploded into my wolf form. Ah, well. I'd buy another pair soon enough.

_You know, I think what we did was good. He shouldn't die,_ Leah thought, falling into step beside me.

_Yeah. I didn't want Nessie or Bella to be hurt if we killed him,_ I thought back. _He doesn't deserve to die, either, no matter how much he thinks he does._ Leah nodded her big, gray head in agreement as we both crossed over the treaty line to our land.

_What did the vampire want?_ Embry thought, slightly coming into view through the trees.

_Well, you know the story about how he wanted us to kill him, right? _I replied. Embry nodded. _Well, we told him we wouldn't kill him, and at first, he was okay with it. Either we said something that pissed him off, or there's something funky up with the doc, 'cause then he freaked out and ran off._ My big shoulders went up and then down in a wolfish shrug.

_I dunno what it was. You gotta think logically here, though. He's gotta be a little screwy in the head lately, since his wife just died. I mean, really. Wouldn't you be the same way?_ Seth's mental voice entered my head, and his gangly, sandy form appeared opposite Embry. Leah looked over at her brother.

_Well, duh, moron!_ She thought. _Anyone who loses someone so close to them, especially having to watch them being murdered, has to screw them up somehow. So ,that could be part of it. Or it could have been that whole 'you're not the only one who misses her' crap. Cough JACOB cough. _She rolled her eyes in my direction. I shot a short glare at her, before returning to the rest.

_Well, it's true, isn't it? The rest of the bloodsuckers must miss her, too. She was like their mother, after all. _I paused for a moment. _As weird as this'll sound, I kinda miss her, too. She was always real nice, you know?_ I looked around at my partial pack, watching only Leah and Seth's expression change to one more thoughtful. I knew Seth would miss any of the leeches if _any_ of them died, knowing how, sort of like Bella, he loved them. Well, maybe loved isn't the right word. He liked them a lot. Yeah, let's go with that. Leah, she was different. She never let it show whether or not she liked someone, you would have to really try to get in her head to tell. Even with the thought-sharing thing between us wolves, it was sometimes even pretty hard to tell what she was really thinking. Although, I think Leah, deep down inside, probably liked Esme, too.

Any way it could go, twisted around or not, she'd be missed by _a lot_ of people. I just hoped that Carlisle would end up deciding to live, as strange as it'll sound for me, a werewolf, to say this; the world really needs people like him. Vampire or not, he saved and probably even changed lives everyday for a living. The world is so full of either bad, poor, unfortunate and many other types of people out there, and so few really, truly good ones out there, that it would really mean a lot to decrease the population by killing him.

Even if he did die, I sure as hell would not want to be the cause of it.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Here, we go, chapter ten. I just want to say that this is a pretty big accomplishment for me here. Haha. I've finally reached the double digits with one of my fanfics. XD**

**Also, thank you all for reviewing! It really means a lot that people like my story. Thank you!!**

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_**Seth Clearwater **_

_You know what, Seth? Just go after him if you're that worried. You're being a pest._ I heard my sister's voice in my head, cutting off what I about to think. Honestly, I didn't really know what I was feeling about this; the wolves shouldn't even be involved in the vampire's issues. I guess I was only some sort of freak who actually felt sympathy towards the vampires. Much like she did to Bella, Leah had called me a 'leech lover', in fact, it was that one time I tried to stop the fight between Jacob and Bella when Bella was newborn. She'd broken my collarbone, and Carlisle had fixed it for me. I know this'll sound stupid, but I've always thought he was pretty amazing for doing that. Well, not only that but everything. Of course he was already amazing for being immune to human blood and all, but the fact that he was treating a werewolf despite the hatred between vampires and shape shifters was really just… _awesome_. He was probably the only vampire in existence who would do that. Who _could_ do that, for that matter.

_Yo, Seth. You going or not?_ Jacob asked, pulling me out of y thoughts. I shook my head, hoping to clear it, before I turned back to Jacob.

_Sure thing._ I stood up again and took off in the direction of the border line.

I'd crossed over to vampire land, and sniffed around for Carlisle's scent. I didn't know it too well, but I could at least distinguish it from the others. I finally found the scent I was looking for and chased after it. When I could sense his being getting closer and closer with every step I took, I phased back to my human form and pulled my cut-off shorts on. Much like the rest of the pack, I'd adopted the habit of keeping them tied around my ankle with a leather cord. I kept walking through the trees until I found the vampire, sitting slouched down on his knees by a creek that ran though the forest.

"Hey," I said tentatively, not wanting to startle him, because he had appeared to not notice my presence. Surprising, considering the werewolf scent was rather potent to vampires.

Apparently he was more morose that I had thought, to not notice someone, let alone a werewolf. I walked closer, giving him a light tap on the shoulder with the tip of my finger.

"Carlisle?" I asked. He finally looked over at me, then quickly looked away. The brief moment that my eyes met his was enough for me to see that he was obviously starving himself. His eyes were a deathly, midnight black with dark, tired-looking circles beneath them. Even his skin looked paler than the usual vampire pallor.

"Yes?" Carlisle's voice was extremely quiet, the only way I was able to hear it was because of my extended werewolf senses. They weren't nearly as good as a vampire's, but close enough. I sat on the ground by him, leaning back against a tree trunk.

"You okay?" I inquired, following his gaze with mine to watch the creek's quick yet steady flow, carrying all the leaves and debris along with it. If only life could be like that; just letting all of your problems and complications be swept away by clean, clear water.

"Never better," Carlisle muttered, his black irises intent upon the flowing water. "Why'd you come here?" His tone wasn't rude or cunning as you'd expect a question like that to be, it was more like he actually wanted to know why I'd followed him. Calm. Even with someone like Carlisle, you'd expect that being so calm and refined all the time would somehow bring out the worst in someone when all of the other emotions cooped up inside began to bubble over. With Carlisle, that wasn't really the case. Though I didn't really know him that well, I'd figured out by now that he kept most of his emotions concealed behind a resigned mask.

"Well, I…" I bit down on my lip, looking away as I thought. "I was worried. When Jake said that you just ran away like that, I got worried." I shrugged, looking back up at him. I was surprised to see that his gaze was on me, and I stared back, waiting for an answer.

"You shouldn't have to worry yourself with my issues, Seth," he replied. "I'm sure you have problems of your own to deal with; mine shouldn't be included." He stifled a sigh and looked away to the ground.

"Yeah, they should," I disagreed lightly. "As weird as this is gonna sound, I care for all of you vampires. That includes you, and I don't like seeing you sad like this, you shouldn't be. You're always so helpful, so kind; it's just not right to see you so… depressed." I shifted so I faced him more, and he glanced back at me for a brief second.

_**Carlisle Cullen**_

_You're always so helpful, so kind; it's just not right to see you so… depressed._ I repeated Seth's words in my head, letting them sink in. I never really thought of myself in that way, it was just something that came naturally to me, I didn't have to try to be the way I was. That didn't just apply to the 'helpful' and 'kind' part, either; it applied to everything. Even this morose, melancholy ambiance I was surrounded with at the moment was natural. I obviously knew that I felt this way, and that I shouldn't be like this around my family, or anyone, even. I shouldn't be putting them in a dismal mood just because I am. Although, the fact that Seth had followed me to try and _help_ me like this, it cheered me up just in the slightest bit. I'm sure none of the other werewolves would do that.

I'd always liked Seth, with the way he accepted everybody. He'd been perfectly accepting of me and my family, and Renesmee when she was born. There couldn't ever be any one person in the world that he would discriminate against, he had an equal attitude toward everyone, and that was a good one to have. Very unlike my current mood.

'I'd change this if I could," I began, quietly. "But I don't think I can. There's just no way I can be content again with this situation at the moment."

"Yes, you can. I'm positive of that." Seth grinned. "You know that your family will help you. So will the pack; I'll make them," he added.

"You won't have to. I'm sure I'll figure something out… somehow. It'll most likely take a pretty long time, but, I suppose it's worth a shot. "I forced a half-hearted smile, nearly failing. It was enough for Seth, though, because he then grinned back and stood up.

"Good. You work on that," he said. "Oh, and, Carlisle?"

I looked up at him.

"Don't worry; I'm sure everything will resolve itself soon enough. For now, just try to be happy, okay?" I opened my mouth to reply, but he was already gone.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Haha. Well, I had some pretty bad writer's block in math class today (ah, the set in which I start most of my writing. XD Surprisingly, my grade's gone up. XD) so, then I just decided to do something a little different. I shall skip through time. Ah, yes, the time-skip method. You know, that's actually really fun. I don't know why, but I found it amusing. XD Maybe I'm just strange… Probably. *shrug***

**BUT. Here ya go. Chapter eleven. (Seriously, Charles Dickens had an effect on me… this is rather… depressing… XD)**

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_**Carlisle Cullen**_

_Twenty-Five years later…_

It had been twenty-five years.

Twenty-five years since the brutal death of my wife. Twenty-five painful, lonely years. I'd finally gone back home after about one, knowing that Edward was right, and that family could help more than solitude. They'd all welcomed me back with open arms, although Edward was the tough one to crack. I thought it had something to do with regret for letting me leave for so long, following his actions, almost. Despite everyone's obvious optimism, attempts to cheer me up, I'd never been the same. I still carried with my general life, consisting of my job at the hospital, but that was about it. I rarely went hunting anymore, about once every two months rather than two weeks. During the time I spent at home, most of it was spent in my office. Even that had become more bland with the years that had passed; the books grew stiffer with less and less use, the pictures and paintings faded with age. The only things that hadn't changed in the slightest were me, myself, and I. I still remained frozen at twenty-three; the only aspects of me that had changed were the eyes that remained black and hungry more than normal, and the personality. My, how that had changed. I rarely even cracked a smile, let alone let my laughter sound. Even the family seemed more aloof, barely speaking to or making eye contact with me. At first, they tried. The really tried to lighten my mood, raise the melancholy ambiance of my presence to one more cheerful. They all really, _really_ tried – and failed.

I'd never be the same.

Even through twenty-five more years that would pass, I'd never change. It wouldn't make sense for me to. Not unless Esme somehow came back to life – although, at this point in time, I deemed that impossible – or I found love again.

Wait – what am I saying? Find love again? Yeah, right. Maybe when pigs fly.

I'd never really realized how dependent upon Esme I was until a few years after her death. I was completely dependent upon her – that dumb old saying, 'I can't live without you' really does have some meaning to it. Truth be told, I have no idea how I managed to live through these brutal two and a half decades.

"Hey, Carlisle? I was wondering if you might want to come into town with Nessie and I." I looked up at Alice's tinkling voice in my doorway, shocked she had actually offered to let me come.

"You actually want me to come?" I asked quietly, looking up from the book I had in my lap. Alice grinned, and her head bobbed up and down in her little-pixie-nod, as I called it. Nessie appeared behind her, her grin mirroring Alice's and her chocolate brown eyes excited.

"Please come, Grandpa!" she exclaimed, bounding across the room and jumping up to sit on my desk. She blinked at me before asking again, "Pleeeease?"

I stifled a sigh, putting an arm around her in a half hug when she did the same to me. Thank God she was now fully grown and had dropped the habit of sitting in everyone's lap but Jacob's. I suppose the term 'lap dog' could now go both ways.

"Fine, I'll go," I finally admitted, standing up when Nessie moved back to clap with Alice. I internally rolled my eyes at them before I brushed past the two jittery girls and disappeared down the stairs. Alice was hot on my heels, followed by Nessie.

"Where to?" I asked as soon as we shut the doors on Alice's canary yellow Porsche; she had insisted on not taking the Mercedes. Alice shrugged, stepping on the gas. With a deafening screech, she turned the car around and started driving.

"I dunno. Where ever, I guess. I just thought it's be nice for you to get out somewhere besides the hospital for a change," Alice replied, flashing a smile in my direction. "Where do you want to go?"

I sighed, turning my head to look out the window. "Somewhere indoors. You sure picked a great day for us to _not expose what we are,_ huh, Alice?" I glanced back at my pixie of a daughter, giving her a disapproving look. The sun shone brightly from its place in the middle of the sky; the rays beaming down on every being within its reach. Including us vampires. And everyone knows what happens when we're in the sun. Alice rolled her eyes and parked the car in the shade behind the town library.

"Happy?" she asked sarcastically. I stifled a sigh and slid out of the car.

"Good enough," I muttered. "Since when are you interested in libraries, Alice? There's a mini one right in my office." Alice shrugged.

"No offense, Carlisle, but I'm not a sucker for medicine." She grinned. "And, besides, you just needed an outing and I know you like books. Unless _that's_ changed, too," she added quietly. I was completely unaware of Nessie standing next to her, and of Alice herself. In the brief moment I glanced away from the two, I caught a glimpse of someone I would know anywhere.

I watched her walk away, the wavy caramel-colored hair only being ruffled in the slightest by the light breeze whispering in the air and the rhythm of her walk. She had a slender figure, her soft curves accentuated by the top she wore. I caught sight of the side of her face when she turned her head to look at the man next to her, remembering that perfect profile.

"Esme," I murmured, my gaze intent upon her back, completely ignoring the dark-haired man next to her. I blinked, snapping myself out of my trance-like state. I had to be hallucinating; I _had_ to be. She'd been dead for twenty-five years, how could she come back _now_?

"Carlisle! Hey, what's wrong with you?" I heard Alice's voice and felt the light smack of her hand against the back of my head. "Snap out of it."

I blinked again, turning away from the direction where I saw the women who I thought was Esme walk away. What really got me about this situation was that she was with another man. If she came back to life, wouldn't she at least remember her family? Remember _me?_

I turned back to Alice, trying to shake the sight out of my head, "Yes?"

"What was up with that? You were staring after some woman like she was your long lost puppy or something," Alice said, scrutinizing my still far-out expression.

"N-nothing," I stuttered, looking at neither Alice nor Nessie. "I'm fine. Never better." Nessie's face turned into the same skeptical expression that Alice wore on hers.

"No. There's something wrong with you, Grandpa," she said. Alice's face broke and her carefree, tinkling laughter echoed throughout the parking lot.

"Well, we've _always_ known that!" she joked, still carelessly laughing. I rolled my yes at her. I may not be the most normal person on the planet, I mean, we're _vampires._ But, apart from that, can you really blame me for acting like this for the past two and a half decades?

"Whatever," I muttered. "Are we just going to stand here all day or what?" I was getting anxious to get my mind off the woman, hoping some sort of activity would help.

"Sure. Come on." Alice grabbed my wrist in one hand and Nessie's in the other in a quick, sure movement and towed us both into the library.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Sorry it took so long to update, guys – School's been really nuts lately with this big project I've gotta do, and, I wrote pretty much all of this chapter on paper so I had to type it all up (it was only around five pages, so not that much… I just have a habit of procrastinating when it comes to transferring stuff from paper to computer. XD)…. Lol. But, I suppose we should focus on the positive and not the negative. Its here, right? =) **

* * *

_**Edward Cullen**_

I was sitting on the polished piano bench, my fingers gliding smoothly over the keys, forming a gentle melody when Carlisle suddenly burst through the door, looking rather frazzled. He only gave me a brief glance before dashing up the stairs; the sound of his office door clicking into place on the door frame could be heard from the quiet upstairs. I tuned my brain into his thoughts, but only caught bits and pieces of his frenzied mind. The pieces I happened to be able to decipher were mostly images of Esme from twenty-five years ago, and a more recent image seeming to be from wherever he had gone with Alice and Nessie today.

Wait, recent? Esme was twenty-five years dead, what am I talking about, recently?

I decided to just go upstairs and ask him directly; picking through his brain just seemed rude… Not that I hadn't done it before, but this was more of a touchy topic. I stood up from the piano bench and dashed up the stairs at inhuman speed to my father's study. _Come in,_ Carlisle's mental voice invited, dreary and dismal as usual. Quietly, I opened the door, stepping into the office and stopping about a yard from the mahogany desk.

"What happened earlier?" I asked, keeping my vow for the day to not rummage through his thoughts and just find out the easy way.

"Like you don't know," he mumbled, turning his head back to the blank piece of paper he had sitting in front of him. There was a pen on top of the paper, giving me the impression that he had intended tow rite something. Unless he somehow had picked up Esme's old habit of doodling on any free paper she could find.

"I don't," I replied, innocently. "Besides, it'll help if you talk to someone about it besides yourself." I flashed my signature crooked smile at him. He glanced back up at me, wearing the same somber expression as he before.

"Edward," he began slowly, "everyone in this room knows you're just trying to get me to spill. All three of us." Three of us? What was he talking – Oh. Bella. _Bella _was behind me, standing in the doorway that I had accidentally left open.

"He's right, Carlisle," Bella said, her bell-ringy voice sounding throughout the room. "You should tell us. "Remember, family can help more than –"

"Family can help more than solitude, I know. I've heard that so many times over the past two and a half decades, Bella, I think it's permanently branded into my brain." Carlisle stifled a sigh, his eyes on the desk still. Bella shrugged, walking further into the office to stand next to me.

"Still. We should know. Tell us, _please_, Carlisle?" she pleaded, giving him the puppy dog face. Carlisle was about to reply when a streak of black flitted into the room and perched on top of his desk. Alice. She looked at Carlisle, her golden eyes wide and curious.

"Come on, Daddy, tell us!" she exclaimed. I saw in my head as Carlisle internally rolled his eyes and gave Alice a skeptical look a second later.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, daddy!" Alice grinned. "You are our dad, right? Or has that changed in the past twenty-five years?"

"It hasn't," Carlisle muttered. I stifled a sigh, finally realizing that he wasn't going to give up anytime soon. I let my guard down and let myself search through his brain, finding more scattered pieces of what I thought was what happened earlier. I _saw_ in my head what was bothering him.

I've got three words to say to this: _what the hell._ Was Carlisle delusional, or am I?

"Carlisle, are you _serious? Esme?"_ I asked, emphasizing my mother's name. Carlisle kept his eyes on the desk, and nodded. His nod was such a small, curt movement that even a vampire would find it difficult to distinguish. Both Alice and Bella lost their cheerful expressions, turned, and gaped at Carlisle.

"You saw… Esme?" Bella asked faintly. Carlisle nodded again, confirming his thoughts.

"And everyone says _I_ need to be in the mental asylum," Alice commented, sarcastically. Carlisle ignored her and kept his gaze steady on the desk.

"How do you know it was her?" Bella inquired, her brow furrowing in confusion. We all watched Carlisle, waiting for his answer.

_**Carlisle Cullen**_

How did I know? Did they honestly expect me to be able to answer that question? It wasn't something that could be thoroughly explained; it was just the matter that Esme was my _wife_. It was also merely the fact that I would know her anywhere. Most people would probably mistake her for someone else if they saw what I did.

"I just know." My answer was simple, not one that could be easily questioned. Unless, of course, you had a skeptic for a son.

"It could have easily been someone else, Carlisle. There's no way to be positive that it was her," Edward contradicted. I sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of my nose between my index finger and thumb, a habit I had picked up from Edward.

"There is a way to be positive. All you have to do is _believe me._ I _know_ it was her, Edward. Even the way she _walked_ was the same. Do you want proof? I'll take you to where I saw her; you can smell her scent yourself." I looked up at the three, only to find that Bella and Alice were expressionless. Edward still looked disbelieving, yet eager at the same time.

"Fine," he began, "show me."


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter thirteen… Wow. This is probably my longest fanfic, next to Tragedy… I'm kinda proud of myself, actually. XD It takes a lot for me to feel that way… Also, thank you all so much for reviewing!! I know I say that all the time, but I really do appreciate your reviews and encouragement very much, that's a lot of what keeps me going on my fanfiction.**

**So, thank you all!! And enjoy chapter thirteen. =P**

* * *

The bell on the door jingled quietly, announcing the entrance of two men in the small-town coffee shop. I glanced over my shoulder, and blinked in astonishment at the sight.

Two men stood at the door, one looking barely over sixteen or seventeen, with bronze colored hair in a disarray around his young, angular face. The second was slightly taller than the other, with a head of bright blond hair and dark eyes. He was inhumanly handsome, and I found myself staring at his beauty after a moment. He looked to be around twenty-three or twenty-four, but somehow looked to young to fit the part of the town doctor. I knew he looked familiar somehow; this was obviously it. I turned away before they could notice my staring, back to my boyfriend who was sitting opposite me, sipping his coffee.

Hmm.

_**Carlisle Cullen **_

_See? She's right there, Edward, _I thought to my son, sneaking a brief glance at the woman sitting at the table in the far corner. _What did I tell you?_ Edward stifled a sigh and looked at who I thought was Esme again, before returning his gaze to me.

"Fine. You win. But, who's that guy with her?" he asked, too low and quick for any human to possibly make sense of. I shrugged.

"You're asking me this? You're the mind reader," I replied, not bothering to think my answer. That'd be a little conspicuous, wouldn't it? Two men having a conversation with only one talking.

"Good point." Edward looked back at the man, deeply concentrating on his or Esme's thoughts, I assumed.

"Peter. His name is Peter," he murmured, not removing his gaze from the dark-haired, somewhat handsome man.

"Is he her boyfriend or something?" I whispered, sneaking a quick glance at Peter out of the corner of my eye. Edward nodded.

"Yes. They've been dating for a while now, about a year. That's all I can pick up," he replied quietly. I said nothing to that, and looked at Peter and Esme one last time before I turned on my heel and walked out the door. Edward was hot on my heels, catching up to me in a matter of seconds.

"Where are you going? Don't you want her back?" he asked, putting his hand on my shoulder in an attempt to make me slow down.

"She's happy the way she is. I shouldn't interfere with that," I nearly snapped, shaking Edward's hand off my shoulder and keeping my eyes on the road in front of me. I shook my head slightly, trying to clear my head of the melancholy thoughts I knew were about to bubble over.

"You're not." Edward's simple response stopped me in my tracks, though I still kept my yes on the pale gray pavement.

"I don't matter," I murmured, my voice somehow sounding cold with such a quiet reply. "As long as she's happy, that's all that matters. I'm just like a shrimp in a sea of whales, Edward. I shouldn't matter, and I _don't._"

"Yes you do. Why do you think we all worry about you so much?"

"Because you all obviously have nothing better to worry about." I glanced at Edward, my expression hurt, no matter how hard I tried to hide it. Edward just stared at me, his eyes pleading for me to stay, to be content.

Apparently he couldn't understand that it wasn't possible.

Again, I turned on my heel and walked away, towards the town park. Maybe a little walk would help me relax a bit; since it was perfect weather for a vampire to do so. Not too cloudy, but just enough to prevent the sun from breaking through and not cause me to stand out too much. I stuffed my hands in my pockets, not looking over my shoulder at my 'son' again.

After about an hour of wandering aimlessly throughout the small town park, I finally stopped by a tree, scrambled up it, going just high enough to not be spotted. I sat in the tree for about thirty minutes or so, before I heard a familiar voice.

"Why'd you decide on the park?" I heard Esme say. "We never come here." I peeked my head through the branches, only to see my _former_ wife walking through the lush, green grass of the park, hand in hand with _Perfect Prince Peter_. I internally rolled my eyes at the man, before focusing my attention back to the couple.

"Oh, I dunno. I just thought it was a nice place for a little walk," Peter replied. Ugh, what a nasaly voice that guy had. Esme looked up at him.

"Something wrong?" she asked, sounding just the slightest bit aloof. "You seem… Tense."

"No, no, not at all." Peter smiled, looking as if he were hiding something; something important. "Well, actually… I wanted to ask you something."

Esme smiled back, "And this something is?"

"Well, you know how we've been going together for a while now and… And I really care about you. I just wanted to ask this one thing." Peter grinned and dropped to one knee. _No,_ I thought. _No, no! He can't propose to her! Say no, Esme, say no!_ I practically screamed this in my head, hoping that somehow it would will itself into Esme's head as well, and that she would obey. Peter pulled out a small black box from his shirt pocket, and focused his gaze in on Esme.

"Esme Platt, will you marry me?"

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**HAHA! I know, I know, that was kinda short, but I wanted to end it on a cliff hanger. XD so, what'd you all think? I'd love to hear your thoughts; though, I have a feeling a lot of them will be something to the effect of "SAY NO ESMEEEE SAY NOOOOO" or something. xD**

**But, yup. There ya have it! Chapter fourteen coming soon. *hint hint wink wink* **

**Peace! **


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Heehee, did y'all enjoy my cliff hanger on the previous chapter? XDD**

**Well, well, good news. It's over. DA SUSPENSE IS OVAA! Here's chapter fourteen. **

**I'll **_**TRY**_** not to end it like that again. XDDD**

**Oh, and uh, I know this chapter skips around with the PoV a little… but… yeah. XD Hopefully that's not too confusing, but, um… Enjoy! And, also, it'd be very appreciated if any of you could review. **

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_**Carlisle Cullen**_

"_Will you marry me?"_

No. No! It took almost all of my strength to keep myself form lunging at the man. I zeroed my gaze in on Esme, who hadn't yet given Peter an answer. She just stared at him, blinking every now and then.

"No." Her voice was quiet, shaking slightly. Peter immediately stood up, glaring at her angrily.

"No?" he repeated. "What do you mean, no?"

"I mean, _no_, I won't marry you," Esme replied, cowering back from the irascible man glowering at her.

"You honestly think you can get away with refusing me? Just say 'no' and that's the end? Ha, I don't think so," Peter nearly growled at her. "Just for this, Esme, I'll make your life _hell_."

"Having lived with you for the past six months, it already is," Esme shot back, trying to sound unshaken when it was obvious that she was terrified. Peter's muscles tensed, his arm pulled back, and in a swift, quick movement, the palm of his hand came intact with the side of Esme's face, the force of the impact causing a loud _crack_ to sound through the air and her to stagger backwards. _He didn't,_ I thought, before jumping out of the tree and bolting more towards the couple, taking cover behind a bush. Esme palmed at the side of her face where Peter had hit her, and pulled her hand back a few seconds later, revealing a gash on her right cheek and a hand the was stained red with blood. Peter still glowered at her, ignoring the blood, his face twisted in a malicious sneer. I peeked through the thin branches of my sheltering bush, watching.

"Changed your mind?" Peter sneered, inching closer to Esme, looking rather menacing. Esme took a tiny step back away from him, before she turned on her heel and bolted in the opposite direction. I flitted out of the bush, stopping about five feet or so in front of her when she snagged her ankle on a tree root, causing her to fall forward, straight into my waiting arms.

"Oh, sorry," she said hastily. "I-I didn't mean… to fall... on you…" I smiled, cutting her off in mid sentence.

"It's fine. You all right?" I asked, though I already knew she had hurt her ankle somehow, just by the way she was standing. She opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted yet again by Peter stopping behind her, his breaths coming in huffs from the exhaustion of running. I let my gaze rest on him, trying for Esme's sake to not glare at him.

"Something the matter?" I asked, my smile disappearing and being replaced by a grimace. Peter snuck a glance at the cut he had left on Esme's cheek before looking back at me.

"No, not at all," he replied. I snuck a glance back at Esme, who was holding onto a nearby tree for support. She shook her head slightly. She mouthed something to me; the words I could make out were something to the effect of _don't trust him. _I gave her a light nod of my head, acknowledging her warning.

"Why do you ask?" Peter said, returning my slight glare, but with more anger in his than I had in mine. I shook my head.

"No reason. Just stay away from her, understand?" Peter blinked at my suddenly harsh voice, and nodded curtly.

"Yes, Doctor Cullen," he said. He knew who I was? Hmm, unexpected. My family and I had only recently moved to this little town in New York; apparently information spread around town pretty fast here, much like back in Forks.

"Good." My answer was short, cutting. Peter turned and walked away, leaving Esme alone with me. I looked back at her, my expression apologetic.

"Sorry about that," I said. "I didn't mean to be harsh with him, I just saw what he did to you, and –" She held up her free hand, the one that wasn't gripping tree, stopping me in mid-sentence.

"It's fine," she murmured. "So, um, you're the town doctor, huh?" I nodded. "I knew you looked familiar from somewhere."

My lips turned up in a small smile, "Yeah, most people say the same thing." I paused for a second. "Would you like me to take a look at that ankle for you?" Esme looked down at the ground, looking at how she was only standing on one foot. She raised her gaze slightly, and nodded sheepishly.

"If you wouldn't mind," she whispered, still not removing her gaze from the grass to look at me. "But, uh… I… I don't think I can really… walk." My smile widened.

"No worries." I walked closer to her and held my arms out. "May I?"

She took the hint and nodded, "Yeah." I grinned and scooped her up into my arms, heading off in the direction of my home.

_**Esme Platt **_

"Looks like you took quite a spill there. What were you running from?" Dr. Cullen finally spoke after a few moments of silence, his extremely appealing voice breaking through my trance-like state.

"Oh, um… Well… I was running from my… boyfriend. Though, I don't think he's really my boyfriend anymore; not after that." I glanced up at the man carrying me again, sheepishly. I meant to look away after just a moment, but found myself not able to remove my eyes from his perfect face. Despite the tired-looking circles under his black as midnight irises, his face still shone with obvious youth. There wasn't a wrinkle, a line, no possible blemishes anywhere on his skin. It looked almost like the smoothest of marble; I had the sudden urge to touch it, to see if it felt the way it looked.

"H-How old are you?" I suddenly blurted, unaware that I had. _Idiot!_ I scolded myself, mentally. _You don't just randomly ask how old someone is like that!_ He just simply smiled at my question.

"Three hund – I mean, twenty-nine." I raised an eyebrow at his stuttering, but then just shook it off and nodded.

"You look younger," I said quietly.

Jeez, what was I _saying?_

_**Carlisle Cullen**_

I internally smirked again at Esme's comment. I look younger, huh? I'm sure Edward would get a kick out of that.

"Thank you," I replied, flashing a brilliant smile at her. … Dear God, what was I _doing?_ She probably thought I was some sort of creep of the streets, all of a sudden appearing out of nowhere and carrying her back to my _home_, nonetheless. It wouldn't be surprising if she thought I was the case of the Doctor Gone Mad.

Which, frankly, was a lot more accurate than it seems.

"So, um… You're okay with this, right?" I suddenly asked, wondering if she did in fact think that this was only the slightest bit creepy.

"Yes, absolutely," she replied, sounding genuinely honest. "You _are_ the town doctor; shouldn't I be able to trust you?"

"Well, yes." My voice was distant. _For the most part, yes,_ I added mentally, knowing that if I said it out loud that it would probably break her trust in me. And _that_ was the last thing I wanted.

"Hey, Carlisle. What brings you home so early?" Edward's voice came form the living room as I entered the house.

"It's early?" I stopped briefly by the entryway to the room. Edward only looked slightly alarmed at the fact that it was Esme in my arms, but kept his shock to a minimum as if not to startle her. _She's sprained her ankle; I _have_ to help, _I thought to him. He made a small movement of his head that I recognized as a nod before I continued down the hall and up the large staircase to my office, where I gently set Esme down on the rather small, leather couch. Silently, I walked over to the desk and pulled a few pieces of gauze and other medical materials from one of the drawers. I've always figured that I may as well keep those things in there; you never know when you might need them. I walked back over to her, on the couch, kneeling on the floor next to where she had her ankle stretched out, not moving it so obviously try to decrease the pain. The two of us didn't speak for quite some time as I set her ankle in the brace. It was when I sat up next to her on the couch to fix the wound on her face that I saw the reason we hadn't spoken.

She had her eyes fixed on my face the whole time, speechless. I'd obviously had many women, mostly the nurses at the hospital, though, stare at me like that, though the way Esme did, it was different. Her eyes were filled more with love than lust, unlike most of the others. She noticed my searching of her expression and glanced away from a moment.

"Sorry," she apologized quickly. "I-I didn't mean to stare." Her cheeks flushed red, adding a cute effect to her words. I gave a small smile, amused.

"Don't worry about it," I replied, finishing up with the cut on her cheek and sitting back a little bit. She folded her legs under her on the couch, much like the old Esme used to do. This simple action of hers pulled at my heart; I knew that this would probably be the last time I'd be able to see her. I highly doubted she'd somehow get some random burst of intuition and remember everything; that everything including me. Hell, it was already pretty much impossible for her to be here in the first place, I shouldn't be expecting any more miracles to happen in the not-too-distant future.

"Thank you." Esme's soft voice interrupted my thoughts. "For doing all this and everything, I mean. I don't many other people would welcome a stranger into their home like this." _No, probably not. It's just the fact that you're not a stranger. _I wished more than anything that I could say those words, just tell her everything. The whole story; about my being a vampire, _her_ being a vampire, how we'd been together for around ninety years, how she died… everything.

And I never could.

She'd probably go back home after this, never to be communicated with again. I tried to let that particular thought slide away when I replied to her.

"No problem," I finally said. "It's just part of the job." I forced another smile to appear on my lips, hoping that somehow it would give her the impression that what I said was truer than it really was. Even if she hadn't been injured, I still would've found a way to get her back, no matter what the cost. This situation was only one less step I didn't have to take.

Now to carry through with the plan I hadn't even though of.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Well, here's chapter fifteen. I couldn't finish writing it in study hall as I usually do because I lost my pen.**

**That was my SPECIAL PEN! And I lost it!**

**I actually wrote a eulogy from my frikken pen. xD But, hey. That was like my awesomest, sacred pen and it was suddenly GONE!**

**But, thankfully, I went back to homeroom and found my Special Pen.**

**So all is well now, and I shall now let you read the chapter instead of my pen tragedy. (I still think my friend SO TOTALLY hid it from me…. No, I will NEVER FORGET THAT! Bwahahaha)**

* * *

_**Carlisle Cullen**_

Silently, I slunk into the pitch black room, gently clicking the door back into place as if not to disturb the deeply sleeping form curled up on the bed. I'd insisted that Esme stay here for at least the one night, she had nowhere to go. Though it took a lot of convincing, she finally gave in.

I don't think Edward will ever let me live down the moment when I had to so-called 'dazzle' her.

I let my gaze rest on her back, watching the slight rise and fall of her body as she inhaled the fresh, midnight air the drifted in the slightly ajar window.

"Carlisle, what are you doing?" Edward's soft whisper came from the open door behind me. I turned around and shrugged lightly.

"Watching her," I murmured in response, stating the obvious. "Much like you used to do with Bella; though, I didn't come through the window." I flashed a smirk at him before gently brushing past him and closing the door behind the two of us, as Edward had followed me.

"You know, if she had woken up, it wouldn't have ended well," Edward said once we had gotten downstairs. "She probably would've flipped, seeing you just standing there like that, watching her sleep."

"And you thought Bella wouldn't be the same way?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Though, she wasn't really – Okay, why are we talking about this?" Edward shrugged, his golden eyes glinting in the darkness.

"Not sure. And, Carlisle, you really should go hunting. You haven't been in months, and if we're going to have _her_ staying here… She's human. You could snap." His eyes were completely drained of his earlier mocking sense, being replaced with something that looked like fear.

"I would never hurt her, Edward. Nor would I let anyone else do so; not again," I murmured, my voice having a serious tone.

"Well, I would hope so. I don't think you'd want to go another twenty-five years without her." Edward gave me a sad look before he walked out back door, leaving me alone.

_The Next Day…_

"Morning." Esme's quiet voice came from the bottom of the stairs. I turned and looked at her, flashing a small smile.

"Sleep well?" I asked, eyeing the clothes she now wore. "Alice's clothes, I assume?" Esme's cheeks turned a shade of soft pink as she nodded.

"Yeah, um… She sorta insisted that I wear them, so…" Her voice trailed off and she looked at the white, linoleum floor. I glanced at her attire again, before realizing that they weren't Alice's clothes; they were Esme's, from twenty-five years earlier.

Alice was smarter than a lot of us gave her credit for. Sneaky, sly, smart – that's Alice for you.

I turned back to Esme, just catching the end of a sentence I hadn't heard.

"… I really appreciate you letting me stay here. But I should probably find somewhere else to stay permanently – I wouldn't want to intrude on your lives."

"You're not intruding!" I cut in, almost too quickly to be believable. "Not at all, hon – Esme." If it were possible, my cheeks would've been flushed a bright red; what was I doing, calling her '_honey_' like that?

"Really, Dr. Cullen. I'm sure I can find somewhere to stay; you wouldn't want to tie yourself down with _me_." She half-smiled, half-heartedly. _You wouldn't be tying anyone down. I know that. _You _know that. Why can't you remember?_ I asked myself mentally, wishing over everything that she would somehow remember her past life. All the smiles I gave her, the acts of happiness; everything was merely a charade. Just simply _seeing_ her, alive, with no memory of me nor her family, let alone letting her stay here in my _home_, was slowly and painfully tearing every little particle of my being into pieces.

"You're not tying anyone down," I said quietly, unconsciously letting the words slip from my mouth. "You know that. Why can't you _remember?"_ Oh, dear Lord, what was I doing?

Before either of us knew it, I was in front of her, having closed the distance within a matter of seconds. My right hand was gently holding the back of her neck, slightly tilting up her head so she was able to look at me, the other at her waist. Her eyes were almost wild with confusion and shock that I was acting this way; I assumed mine looked the same way. I felt it as well, though most of it was muffled by whatever the hell I was doing.

"Remember what?" I could barely make out Esme's words through the frenzy my mind was in.

"Everything. Remember _everything. _Before any of this happened – twenty-five years ago, the Volturi, how you – How can you forget what they did to you?!"

"What _who_ did to me?" Her eyes had no traces of hysteria as her voice did. She honestly couldn't remember anything – no matter how hard I tried to jog her memory, nothing could break through the wall that had been slammed over her mind.

"You don't even remember me." My voice was a low murmur, nearly to the point where Esme wouldn't be able to understand my words. "Esme, I was your _husband._ I still am, and have been for the past one hundred and twelve years. And _I love you._ Love you beyond belief." I have neither of us any time to think over my words before I gently yet passionately crushed my lips to hers.

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**Haha, I did it again. XD I know, I know, I dot his all time with the cliff hangers xD**

**I know that chapter was rather short, too, but I'll update soon. =P**

**I hoped you all liked it!**

**And, yes, I know that's PROBABLY not something Carlisle would do… Just all of a sudden spill his guts to a human XDDD **

**Oh, well. =D **


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Okay, guys, I'm SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry for the wait! I've just been really busy lately and have had terrible writers block. -.- but, um… Here's this chapter. **

… **Chapter sixteen. Wow. It seems like just yesterday I was debating on whether or not to even continue with this story, and now I'm all of a sudden writing chapter sixteen. Weird how time goes so fast, huh? **

**I'd again like to thank you all for the great reviews and encouragement – that's what got me here in the first place. Really, I wouldn't have been able to do this without you guys. =D**

**THANK YOU!!**

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_**Esme… Cullen? (I would think she's back with the Cullens… so…)**_

_I'm married._ That was the first thought that popped into my head as soon as Carlisle finished speaking. Even as he kissed me, through the sensation of his lips moving on mine, my mental voice repeated those two words, over and over again. _Married. Married to him… Married for one-hundred-twelve years. How are we both still in our twenties?_ Too absorbed in my thoughts to notice, Carlisle pulled back from the kiss, his eyes wide and apologetic.

"I-I… I'm so sorry, Esme, I… I shouldn't have acted like that… It's completely unacceptable, I-I'm so sorry-" I held up a hand, palm-forward, stopping his sentence. My eyes lifted from where they were focused in on the white floor to search his face. Something about the way his eyebrows furrowed together, something about the feel of his body pressed to mine, something about the way he looked at me, was familiar. My eyes narrowed slightly, as if to more thoroughly search his expression.

Then it hit me.

"Carlisle?" My voice was quiet, nearly to the point that it seemed impossible to be able to hear. He slowly lifted his gaze from whatever he was looking at while his head was hung in shame for his actions.

"Yes?" he murmured, voice low, shameful. His eyes showed a faint glimmer of hope; it was because of that, I realized it was because I had used his first name. Before either of us knew it, I had thrown my arms around his waist, securing myself tightly to him.

"I've missed you," I mumbled into his chest, blinking back the tears I knew were about to spill over. In that split second, something in my brain clicked. Everything came flooding back to me in a rush of thought that seemed as if the force could knock me off my feet. Certain things came in little flashes; mostly flashes of scenes that seemed to be from the early to mid-twentieth century, including me, Carlisle, and they boy who I remembered was named Edward. The flashes continued to flip through the years, each time they slowed for only the briefest of moments, another person was added to the picture. First, the tall, gorgeous blonde… Rosalie. Then the one whom I had once thought was rather terrifying, Emmett. After those two appeared, two more came at the same time; one who I recognized as Alice from earlier, and the disheveled and hungry looking one, Jasper. More images of just Carlisle and I slid by, before the slideshow abruptly stopped again, the image being Edward bringing home an average looking, _human_ girl. I'd always been fond of her, I knew that… Bella. The slideshow started up again, traveling even faster, before it halted yet again on an image of a little girl who looked almost like a perfect cross between both Edward and Bella. Her name popped into my head; Renesmee. As soon as I began to study the picture more closely in my mind, the images shot back to years and years before, stopping for a longer time that any of the others had. It slowly flickered between an image of a beautiful baby boy and a cliff, each flicker growing faster with each second that passed, before the memory finally hit me with enough impact that actually threw me backwards physically.

"No!" The sound of my voice echoed in my head as the image slowly faded away, leaving me gasping for air and clutching at the wall for support.

"Esme?" I hadn't realized until then that Carlisle had flitted to my side. "What's wrong?" Trying to calm myself down from the memory, I took in a few shaky breaths before I sank to my knees by the wall, all of a sudden feeling worn out, tired. I snuck a brief glance at Carlisle who was now beside me on the floor before I fainted from the onslaught of memories.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Okay, so… this is the last chapter of the fanfiction. Now, before you get all up in your kool-aid, cool your jets. There's an epilogue coming soon, so it's not completely over yet. I thought I'd at least have a few more chapters after this one, but I wrote an ending that sounded pretty good, so I thought it'd be a good way to end it completely. **

**For probably the… second-to-last time, I thank you all, my loyal reviewers, for rooting for me to keep the story going. It means so much and I'm so thankful that you all like it! =D**

**Anyways, as an ending to this long and probably unnecessary author's note, enjoy the final chapter of Sometimes You Just Can't Win!**

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_**Esme Cullen**_

My heart increased pace slightly as I looked over my shoulder at my husband. Ever since a few days after I had returned as a human (with my full memory, of course) after being murdered by the Volturi, he'd been different. A lot different.

I figured it was something about not wanting to hurt me, since he's a vampire, and, well, we all know that I'm not.

Carlisle had suggested changing me back into an immortal again, but I said I'd 'get back to him'. What a horrible thing to say.

I walked across the room, stopping in front of Carlisle who was sitting at the never-used dining table, reading some large volume he had pulled out of his over-stuffed bookshelves. Despite the fact that I knew he could sense me by the sound of my heartbeat, I lightly tapped him on the shoulder.

"Carlisle?" I asked. "Can I talk you?" He looked up and nodded.

"Of course. Upstairs?" he returned. I nodded curtly and took his hand in mine, before going to climb the stairs at my slow, human pace. I stopped in our bedroom and Carlisle shut the door behind us. I sat on the rather large bed in the middle of the room, folding my legs and motioning for him to sit next to me. As he did, I took a deep breath, thinking of how to begin. Before I could say anything, Carlisle spoke.

"I think I know what this is about," he began. "You don't want to be a vampire again, do you?"

I shook my head. "That's not it. I'm still undecided, Carlisle; I wanted to talk to you for help. I just don't know what to do or thing or… anything, really," I explained. Carlisle watched me for a moment.

"You know what I think," he said quietly. "But I don't want my opinions to influence your decision. If you want to stay human, so be it. Just because your human and I'm a vampire shouldn't mean that we can't stay together. Edward and Bella managed just fine." He shrugged lightly.

"Well… I see your point," I replied slowly. "But it's a harder decision than one may think. Especially for someone like me." I paused, "We both know that I've always wanted to have another child… and now I can have that, but not without a risk. The risk of being torn to pieces and killed by the baby, of course, because you're obviously the only person I would ever think of having father of a child of mine. But… I also want to spend my life with you. You're forever twenty-three, Carlisle. I'll just keep aging and eventually. I can't have it both ways! That's what makes it so hard!" I finished my mini-speech, my light brown eyes wide and filled with distress. Carlisle blinked.

"Then we could have a baby, and then I'd change you, Esme! It's worked before," he nearly exclaimed. I considered that for a minute. He did have a point; but the problem was, I wasn't sure whether or not I really _wanted_ to be a vampire again.

Gah, why must life be so _difficult?_

I stifled a sigh and looked back up at Carlisle.

"I suppose that is a good idea," I finally agreed. "I'm just not sure if… I really…. _Want_… to be a vampire again." As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted letting them slip off my tongue. It was obvious that Carlisle was trying to hide his shock that I had actually had that thought.

"Why not?" he asked, nearly too quietly for my human ears to comprehend. I stayed quiet for a few short seconds.

"Because, I… It's not that I didn't like being a vampire. It's the fact that we have to hide our identities, pretend to be someone we're not. I'm also afraid that if I choose to stay human, we won't be able to stay with each other any longer. You could crush me so easily, Carlisle. _Too easily," _I whispered, my eyebrows furrowing. My husband's expression was one of complete denial; he probably wouldn't accept what I just said.

"No!" he objected. Hm, I was right, wasn't I?

"That's not true! Esme, we can always be with each other, no matter what species we are. That's what love is. And _I love you,_" he explained. I gently put my hand over his, ignoring the unnaturally cold feel to his skin.

"Carlisle," I whispered. I lifted his hand to place it over his forever-frozen heart on his chest. "We're not," I began, then moving his hand to place it over my heart, which I knew he could feel beating under my warm, fragile skin, "the same." Carlisle kept his hand over my heart for a few moments longer before he shifted to wrap both arms around me in a tight hug.

"We can be," he whispered shakily, his face buried in my hair. I leaned my head into his cold chest, a single tear sliding down my cheek and falling onto the fabric of the bed.

"I won't hurt you, you know that," Carlisle murmured, stroking my back in an attempt to calm me down a bit. "Never."

I gave a small nod and whispered, "You can't be positive of that. You're so much stronger than I am."

"I know. But I could never live with myself if I hurt you. Not just physically, in _any_ way," he replied. I pulled back from him slightly to look in his eyes.

"It's just horrible, not knowing what path to choose," I said faintly. "There are so many pros and cons to both." Carlisle nodded, gently stroking my hair.

"There is," he agreed. "But you have to go with what your heart tells you. You have a good heart, Esme. It always leads you in the right direction."

"Not always," I objected. "If it did, I wouldn't have let the Volturi do what they did to me. If that hadn't happened, we wouldn't have to be having this conversation." Carlisle's eyes immediately filled with sympathy.

"Honey," he murmured, stroking my cheek, "that wasn't your fault. It was mine; I should have protected you better than I did." He leaned back onto the bed, pulling me along with him so we lay close together, side-by-side.

"You did what you could, Carlisle. There wasn't even much to be done in the first place," I replied quietly. "Aro's hard to stop." Carlisle let out a short sigh, his gaze wandering to the ceiling.

"There's no denying that," he breathed. Both of us were quiet for a few moments before he spoke again.

"I wonder what he would do now if he that you're alive," he mused, his eyes still on the ceiling.

"Probably murder me again. It'd be much easier for him this time, wouldn't it?" Carlisle stiffened beside me and I immediately regretted saying what I did.

"See, there's another key point of why I should change you. You'd be _stronger_. Indestructible." His gaze left the ceiling to meet mine, his intense golden gaze burning into my light, harmless eyes. I lifted my hand and rested it gently on his cheek, my thumb stroking his temple.

"I was before," I began in a whisper, "and they still hurt me." His gaze filled with pain at my contradiction.

"But they won't again. I'm positive of it; they won't ever lay a finger on you again." My hand slid off his face as he flipped over, hovering his weight above my body, but kept just close enough that our bodies gently brushed.

"Please, Esme," he whispered, barely audible enough for my human ears. "Please let me do this." He lowered his head and I felt his ice-cold lips brush against the side of my throat. I was so focused on the cool sensation that I barely heard his last whisper.

"I'm promising you forever."

I let my eyes fall shut and let my fingers thread their way through his before I whispered my agreement.

"Forever."


	18. Epilogue

**Well… we've reached the official end, my friends. It's the epilogue.**

**Man, this is just… I feel blown away, actually. This beats my record of longest fanfiction. =D I'm actually pretty proud. Hard to believe, I know.**

**I'd thank you all again for the encouragement, but I'll do that at the end. For now, enjoy the epilogue. *wink***

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_**Esme Cullen**_

I stood outside in the clearing we all used to play baseball, behind Jasper who was up to bat. I crouched down in the catcher's position behind him, my hand out, palm forward, ready to catch the ball. Alice stood on the pitcher's mound, throwing her signature pitch as her wrist flicked out and the ball whistled through the air towards Jasper's waiting bat. He swung, the impact of the ball hitting the metal sending an earsplitting crack throughout the clearing just as a peal of thunder rocked through the sky. The bat was suddenly on the ground and Jasper stood at second base, grinning.

"Edward, you're up," I said, looking over my shoulder at my son. He smirked and stepped up to home plate. Ever since I had returned, I as well as everyone else had noticed that Carlisle had been on my tail through almost everything I did. I didn't bother me, but sometimes it wasn't exactly the best idea.

Like right now.

Carlisle was literally at my side, right in the swinging range of the bat. Edward swung the bat through the air, missing the ball, but not missing _everything_ completely. A crack echoed through the air and I whipped around to see what Edward had smacked. I stifled a giggle at the sight before me.

Carlisle had stumbled backwards, his right hand clapped over his nose. He poked at it, glaring at the ground.

"If my nose could bleed," he began, his voice muffled by his hand over his nose, "it would smell very good to all of you right now. Thanks, Edward. _Thanks._"

I stood up from the catcher's position to walk over to my husband.

"Here, let me see it." I moved his hand off his face for about a millisecond before he had it over his nose again.

"Who's the doctor here, huh?" He smiled and put one index finger on each side of his nose, snapping it back into place. I flinched at the sound.

"That sounds horrible," I commented.

"Feels even worse," Carlisle mumbled in reply. "But hopefully no more bats will be coming in contact with my face again any time soon." He grinned.

"Sorry, Carlisle!" Edward called from the opposite side of the clearing, stifling his laughter much like everyone else was. He grinned a moment later, probably in response to whatever Carlisle had thought. Edward then shot off towards third base, having not even hit the ball.

"Cheater," I heard Carlisle mutter, his lips at my ear. I smiled, cupping his cheek in my hand and turning his head to look at me.

"You know they never play fair," I murmured, my eyes half-shut, leaning my forehead against his. I gave him a light peck on the lips, both of us still softly smiling. Apparently this wasn't enough for him, because his one hand was then threaded through my hair, the other around my waist, pulling us closer in a much more passionate kiss. Another earsplitting boom pealed through the clearing, causing us both to flinch and topple over onto the ground, Carlisle being on top of my small frame. We had broken apart from our kiss and we were just staring at each other before we both looked back at the rest of the family.

Bella just looked shocked, Edward was smirking, Rose looking… miserable, as usual, Emmett was shaking with laughter along with Jasper, Alice was grinning and Nessie looked just like her mother. I knew that both Carlisle and I would be blushing tremendously if it were possible, not only because of our public love broadcast the moment before, but also because we had landed on the ground in this position.

"Just continue without us. We'll catch up later," Carlisle said, trying to conceal his laughter. Emmett guffawed from the field, leaning over and gripping his knees while still laughing.

"Have fun, you two!" he called, a small bout of laughter between each syllable. The rest of the family just grinned cockily, even Rose. Miserable, caustic Rose was _grinning_. Carlisle stood up, pulling me along with him. He tugged on my hand and both of us walked off in the opposite direction, leaving the others snickering and guffawing behind us.

It was good to be back.

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***wipes fake tear away from eye* It's over. It's actually over. As I've said how ever many times, it feels like just yesterday that I was starting on chapter one of this, now its all over. It may not be much to some of you, but to me, this is a pretty big achievement. **

**Now, for some acknowledgements. *clears throat and takes out paper* (okay, there's not really a paper. There really isn't the many acknowledgements, either, seeing as I can't remember all of the names of my reviewers and such… *blush*)**

**I'd like to thank one of my friends first. I won't write her name for privacy purposes, but I'd like to say that she's really helped me with this fanfic so much. We've had some pretty good times in study hall, too. =D (my special pen… xD) Thanks so much!**

**Secondly, I'd like to thank Stephenie Meyer, the author of the amazing Twilight Saga. Without her brilliant work, well, this wouldn't exist, and neither would Carlisle and Esme. (Just imagine my life without them… so depressing!) So, thanks to you, Stephenie.**

**And lastly, the reviewers that I've thanks so many times that I've lost count. You guys have been so loyal to this story from start to finish that it really makes my heart swell. I barely even know any of you, but I feel like you're all my very best friends for being so kind and encouraging in all your reviews. I really couldn't have done this without you guys, so for the last time, THANK YOU!**

**I suppose I could thank my iTunes play list for music while writing, but, it didn't have much impact on the story. xD But seriously… Green Day motivates me… I guess? xD**

**Well… that's all. Before you all get too disappointed that this is over… stay tuned for my other fanfics, this writer isn't going anywhere. *wink***

**Peace out, all!! **


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